Out of Control

I wrote this quite a while ago, but I thought it was definitely worth reposting...Hope you enjoy!

There is a very special girl in my life that seems to always be reminding me that I am "out of control." Thanks to an incredible week on the Colorado River, I am reminded of how right she is.

River mile 231 will probably never set easy on my mind as I try to sleep in the days prior to captaining that rapid. After becoming the first captain in the history of United Christian Youth Camp to entirely flip a paddle boat, I realize just how "out of control" I am. Looking back on how our team approached the giant roller in the middle of the 231 wave train, I can't help but trust that I did everything in my own ability to keep our boat square and "in control." Despite an unrelenting effort, we were toast. Slammed and dogpiled by water without a second to react. Being underwater is probably one of the scarier things that I have ever been through personally. Kris, my friend and captain does great job of describing an encounter such as this, but words will never prepare you for the kind of power underneath the waters’ surface.

After seconds (seeming like minutes) of helpless longing for the surface, I found myself back on top. Amongst such confusion, I still carried the role of paddle captain to my team. I found myself swimming to shore and praying that God would just take care of the 6 men who were trusted in my care. I realized that I had no chance to rescue anyone from where I stood. That is a tough feeling to swallow. My sense of responsibility to my team was pounding in my chest, but all I could do was wait and hope. On the other end of the line, my good friend and fellow paddle captain, Reuben, had his paddle boat positioned to rescue oncoming swimmers. Sean, one of the men in Reuben's boat, later put some amazing words to his experience. He mentioned how hard it was to just wait and throw lines to the men, when there were still 2 missing men (myself and a guy named Tim who had swam to the shore). Sean wanted to just hurl himself in and take off to find us. My explanation does little to describe the intensity behind his words.

This experience does nothing short of pointing directly at God's love for us. A love that gives us a choice. How hard it must have been for God to stand on the shore while His only son was trapped by the rapids. Because of God’s love for us, our choice is simply, "Do I want rescued, or not."

You see, we are all in the middle of the rapids, whether we know it or not. We are flat out drowning. Underwater. Pounding like crazy. And here God is with his hand outstretched to us. All I need to do as a regular guy is to recognize that I am in over my head. Revelation chapter 2 says this, "Remember the height from which you have fallen." Oh, how often I forget just that. My team was nothing short of grateful to be rescued. I was grateful to climb up on the motor rig next to Kris. I longed to be rescued, and I pray that we each may continue to see how desperately we need rescuing. I pray that I remember that I am "out of control." For He is and always will be the captain of all boats.

Jarred